Sunday, January 10, 2010

What is Marriage??

Is it a Civil Necessity, or an Evil Essentiality or a Devil Uncertainty??

A wise man once said that the Marriage is an agreement between two insecure individuals, planning to lead a secure life. Ironically one thinks, their insecurity is taken care by the opposite, thereby prevailing insecurity.


It is quite unsure when this statement was made, but it is more appropriate in today's world.

Before I go any further on this, my thoughts are based on the long lasting Hindu marriage system.

Ever since Hinduism is known, till a little period after Independent India, Marriage was always considered a "sacred" relationship. To emphasize, I say sacred, in a sense that I was told, read and to some extent believed(purely to satisfy my male ego) in a saying "పతియే ప్రత్యక్ష దైవం"(Husband is the visible God).

During the days when, majority of women were uneducated and merely a housewife, for obvious reasons, the term sacred had proved its point. The wife was more of reverent to the husband.

Fast forward few years, the decades of 1970's and 80's, when women education atleast to high school level increased. The marriage system has defined a new emotion which perhaps can be quoted as love/concern. Probably this was comparatively the golden period when defining moments of wife-husband relationship. Marriage was mostly a CIVIL NECESSITY.

Post 80's to the End of Millennium, marked many changes in the society. Needless to say, male dominated society combined with woman harassment(though the standard of women's education is far beyond normal standards) and dowry has given rise to gender inequality, thereby pushing the so called marriage to an EVIL ESSENTIALITY.

The process has become more cautious approach, where woman's destiny was not only in the hands of her husband, but also in her in-laws and family. The obvious reason being dowry and restricting the freedom of a working woman. Love/Concern started to replace with emotions like fear and doubt.

Thus came into limelight, some organizations like National Council for Women and several other Women organizations to shoulder the pain of an ailing ill-treated feminine victim.

New Millennium had one more armor for the all time highly educated working woman.
Thanks to the efforts of proud civilized politicians of our country, "DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACT 498(a)" was born. The Act which is supposed to be in favour of female section of the society on the levels of a Nuclear Bomb against the victims husband, unfortunately it also turned out to be a suicide bomb. More and More fake and dummy 498(a) cases have been reported there by throwing the institution of marriage to a DEVIL UNCERTAINTY. From a period where it started to be sacred, now it is has become hatred. They love to find faults in one another and sow the seed of hate.

Recapping the timeline and events, did women empowerment find any better place with marriage in the modern day society? It has been reported that in the past few years, divorce rate in India has been increasing alarmingly. Second marriage is no longer a taboo. Metros started to witness "healthy" live-in relationships probably on the pretext of avoiding a divorce.

When it is agreed that the generation's level of intellect is shooting higher and higher, and when everyone is smart in shaping one's own lifestyle, why is that they fail when it comes to marriage?

Is marriage happening only by impulse or intent? By these changing trends, its not hard to believe if the Institution of Marriage fails in the next 50 years.(It can be sooner too, I am just throwing a number)

Tail Piece: If Man started the fire of friction in husband-wife relationship, surely woman had added fuel to it. It is precisely up to both the genders to sort out the differences only through mutual consent, but not through the laws which will only ignite the other person's ego.





9 comments:

  1. When no relationship is exception to failure...why make a big deal about marriage failures??????

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  2. Its a good thing that the divorce rate is increasing. No point being in a bad relationship for long. Increase in divorce rate cannot be linked to the whole concept of marriage. If it is linked, divorce rate is strengthening the concept of marriage "Abusing is not a right"

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  3. Reply to Aparna:
    The TRP of marriage failures is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    as compared to other relation failures.
    Most importantly, there is no social, legal ethical, moral binding factor on other relationships as compared to Marriage Failures

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  4. Reply to killingtime:

    Does one needs to fail b4 making a right choice? when you feel good about the increase in divorce rate

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  5. I am favouring the victim's point of view. That is if the divorce was initiated by the victim. Let them not suffer like the pre 1950's era. Marriage was not a sacred thing for everybody back then toooo.

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  6. I think im too young to understand this...
    Old saying: Practice makes man perfect
    New one: Experience makes man realize

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. secret behind the successful marriage lies in mutual understanding.In marriage relationship, if one finds their own mistake in other's problem, any issue can be solved. if it not happens like that..the igo and argument plays the game..not love and affection which are very much important in a husband-wife relationship. these words look like 'old tamarind pickle' for some of u guys, but that was proved true by many of our ancestors. election of ruler is left to the voters only...like wise selection of life partner should be left to the couple only that the point where our conventional system failed..thats the reason why divorce rate is increasing. next constraint is Dowry and status..if dowry is huge it can erase many of the defects from bride's side..same way, if status and level of the groom is rich and high, many of his bad qualities are invisible..one should think twice before they commit. after that they are not supposed to take other option. this is not an undo option or back space button we usually use to clear our mistakes...

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